Preface:
In the world of software development, coding is only part of the story. The human side of the work is no less—perhaps even more—influential in a project’s success than the technical side. The human side of software development becomes far harder and more complex when we move from “coding side by side” to “occasional glimpses of each other from a distance, from behind a screen,” and then to “teammates we’ve never met.”
A while ago I came across a very instructive guide on the website of the SQLModel project. The lead of this project, Sebastián Ramírez (known as @tiangolo), is the creator of FastAPI, one of the well-known web development frameworks in Python. Below I’ve included part of the guide that Ramírez himself wrote for Repository Management Tasks. The goal of the non-technical part of this guide is not only to promote professional behavior, but also to build a lasting culture within the software developer community—a culture in which, even in challenging moments and technical disputes, the priority is respect for people and appreciation of their efforts.
The Guide: Be a Good Person!
Above all else, be a good person. If you were added to the team, it means you’re probably an exceptionally good person already, but it’s worth reminding ourselves of it again.
For when things get difficult!
When things are going well, the work is easier and there’s no need for long lists of instructions. But for the difficult times, here are some guidelines.
Try to see the positive side. In general, if people aren’t behaving unkindly, try to thank them for their effort and interest—even if you disagree with them on the matter at hand (a technical discussion or a PR). Thank them for caring about the project or for the time they spent trying to get something done.
Expressing emotions in text is hard; use emojis to convey your feelings.
In technical discussions and PRs, people often express their frustration directly and unfiltered—they frequently exaggerate, complain, act entitled, and so on. These behaviors really aren’t right, and when someone does them it lowers our priority for solving their problem. Even so, try to take a deep breath first and then give calm, polite replies. Try not to be sarcastic or passive-aggressive. If something is wrong, instead of being sarcastic, it’s better to say what you mean directly and openly (while staying calm and polite).
Try to be as precise and fact-based as possible, and avoid sweeping generalizations.
For the harder conversations—such as rejecting a PR—you can ask me to handle it myself.
Source (SQLModel guide): https://sqlmodel.tiangolo.com/management-tasks/#when-things-are-difficult
